Taking a Look in the Mirror

When I sit back and take a look in the mirror I see a blonde, blue eyed girl. I see someone that comes off like she has it together, someone that is athletic and enjoys the outdoors. I see someone that loves writing but can’t seem to write well at all. When I look at myself I always try to look at who the person is that is staring back at me. There are so many questions that don’t have answers that wonder through my head. I always find myself as someone that seems like they always have it together. I’m not really good at expressing myself to others when things are going the wrong way because I fear of what their reaction might be. I have always had the trouble with opening up and I tend to just ball up on certain situations. I think for me I find myself trying to make sure the world sees me as nothing is wrong when really everything is going bad. I look at that girl in the mirror and wonder how she is surviving through it all and how she is able to stay strong. But I laugh at that statement because I’m not surviving or staying strong. I am slowly fading away. I’m someone that likes to know all the answers to every possible question in life. I think the main reason for that is because I worry about what might happen if I don’t know all the answers. I just want to be able to go through life on a smooth road. Oh man, have I realized there is no such thing. I find it interesting that you learn so much through your experiences. But you hate to wonder if it would have been different if you would have known the out come of it. I’m someone that loves to wonder, my mind is constantly running with scenarios or a situation and the outcome. When I look in the mirror I see a very confused girl that is just looking for answers. I see someone that just needs guidance through the things in life and a voice from someone.