"Venting"

Have you ever had that day where you just feel like you need to just vent and get everything out that you have on your mind. Well for me that seems to happen a lot lately because things are changing and happening in my life. I feel like right when I think I have a it all together something comes along and messes it up. I don't understand why things happen the way they do. I know as humans we are continually thinking about everything that could happen. I just wish we could just put everything aside like things that happened in the past or things that might happen and just look at the moment that we are in. It almost like a slap in the face when you get set back off your feet and reality hits you. Never did I find myself as someone that felt lost because I thought I had it together and there were no worries because of my strong belief in my religion. But for some reason I feel lost and can't seem to find what I am looking for. I thought that my life was changed completely around but now I just have thoughts about it. There are worries that have come up that I never considered before because I look at what good could happen not the bad. I just wish that there was something that would make itself known to me that will help me through all this!! I seek for guidance and support. I just thought that nothing but good has come from the bad things that have happened in my life but seems to have brought just more challenges for the future. I was one to think that there was no one in the world that would want to take on my difficult life and it seems like that just might be true. I wish the past never happened so the future would be more promising for me. I hate the feeling of being a lone in this and struggle everyday. I put a mask on that I am just fine but really inside I'm not. I feel as no one could understand but the truth is I never expected them to. I only seek for their support and what love they can show me. I would love the past to stay the past but it always finds itself to the future.